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How to Turn Your Retreat
Reflections on Commitment and Retreat Preparation by Joyce Allen and Catherine Jetsun Yeshe Part I: Just getting there The beginning of the path is marked by aspiration: our wish to develop wisdom and compassion. It is commitment that puts aspiration into practice. Once we undertake to travel the path, we are constantly working with this motif of commitment. Our outer lives constantly challenge that commitment: seemingly endless demands on us as we struggle to find time for practice. Indeed, this struggle is a part of our pratice. The issue of commitment looms even larger in relation to doing retreats. Retreats are an opportunity for significant growth in our meditation practice. However, our outer lives, and the self that is operative in that sphere, can create obstacles to such growth. Like dragon's teeth, hindrances spring up large and loud when we plan to go on retreat, sometimes so persuasively that we feel the need to withdraw. They can be very seductive, appearing as another person in our lives making demands on us that seem to take priority, sometimes a job suddenly turning up, an illness, or an alternative holiday opportunity that looks like "more fun". By recognizing this potential for hindrances to challenge our commitment, we can see that some of the growth that retreat offers is actually just getting there! When deciding to go on retreat, make the commitment and determine to confront and surmount whatever obstacles may present themselves. Unchallenged, hindrances feed on us and become stronger. But hindrances that are faced up to and stepped over become weaker, and we gain the strength of their energy for our ongoing evolution. If you find your commitment to retreat wavering, remember that help is available. Talk to a dharma friend or to one of the teachers: this is a precious opportunity for gaining clarity and strength. Remember, too, that while retreat can be a time of deep encounter with yourself, it is also a time of joy and friendship, as we come together to discover the beauty of the Path. Part 2: Getting Ready Retreat does not begin the moment you step over the threshold of the retreat centre. It begins the day you commit to attending the retreat. By keeping that commitment firm, and by directing your energies to preparing for the retreat, the benefits you experience will be many times greater.
The month before:
Even if you arrive on the first day tired and stressed out, you will benefit from retreat. But you will benefit much more if you arrive well-rested, healthy and with a strong daily practice base. First, a good practice base starts with awareness of, and adherence to, the five precepts in your daily life. These precepts are not arbitrary rules but guidelines to creating inner and outer harmony. They are:
Second, if you are familiar with Refuge, reflect on Refuge, and take Refuge each day. Reflect on your reasons for meditating and, if you are familiar with Bodhicitta, reflect on this also. If possible, make a point of discussing your pre-retreat practice with your teacher at least a month before retreat: he or she may have some special instructions. But as a general rule, be particularly diligent in following your daily meditation practice according to your usual routine. Don't be tempted to "skip" thinking that you can somehow "make it up" during retreat. If you are planning to practise dream yoga, write down and reflect on your dreams every morning. This will help your conscious mind become more familiar with your dream bardo, and will begin to soften the barrier between sleeping and waking. Finally, begin to tie up the loose ends in your life, so that you can be more present during the retreat itself. Plan to make your workload decrease as retreat approaches. The week before: Lighten your load and slow down Where possible, lighten your load to allow for a quieter week. Be very mindful of your stress levels: they are sure to increase leading up to retreat. That doesn't mean the stress is "wrong", it's very natural. Your personality is subconsciously aware that big changes are coming up: this may lead to strong feelings of apprehension, or to the sudden appearance of many apparently random external obstacles. Simply be aware of this process. If you catch yourself rushing around blindly, trying to fit two or even three weeks' worldly activities into one, stop, take a deep breath, and smile. Be compassionte with yourself. Pause and reflect on what is truly important at this time and leave the rest to others or to the period after retreat. Try not to schedule important meetings or appointments for the week before retreat. Catch up on your sleep. This can be difficult, as many of us tend to lie awake worrying about whether our families/colleagues/friends can cope with our absence, or worrying about whether we'll have a "good" retreat. We often arrive at retreat exhausted in body and mind, needing days of sleep and rest before the meditation can deepen. Again, keep up your daily practice. There is no particular need to increase it: simply keep it firm and steady. The day before: Final countdown The night before starting retreat, have a quiet evening, with a good night's sleep. Be as quiet as possible; minimize talking and entertainment. Think of your retreat as starting the day before at your home. For many people, the impressions of the previous 24 hours amplify and reverberate around the mind a great deal during the sudden mental "silence" of retreat. Try not to put yourself in the way of any powerful, seductive or violent impressions during the final 24 hours. Even "quality" movies, music, etc. will become strong distractions if they are lurking in your recent memory during retreat. During retreat: Relax and focus What if you really are indispensible? Don't worry, there is always emergency contact available. We ask that you do not plan phone calls or other personal contact during retreats. After retreat: Find your "decompression zone" Before ending the retreat, we will gradually increase social talk. Still, as you return to your daily life, you may find yourself sensitive to too much noise, activity or social contact. Plan not to do too much for the few days after retreat. Plan ahead for a time to devote attention to family members who will have missed you, and allow too for time to be alone. SARVA MANGALAM - BLESSINGS TO ALL
Joyce Allen
and
Catherine Jetsun Yeshe
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